If you get a chance
If it changes your life
(longer post, on how I got my flame back)
I am still here. I have been dormant for a little while. I have allowed life to become stressful, to become something that I never wanted it. I have allowed myself to get stuck in a “rut”, preoccupying myself with things that ultimately do not matter. I have allowed the passion and the zest for life’s adventures to escape me. I have allowed anxiety to get the best of me, to take hold of my spirit with tight reins. I became consumed with other’s draining energy; I let myself wallow in these shadows.
This has been my last few months. The problem is that I became so accustomed to it. I felt like this was who I have become. I have not been happy with myself, with the stress in my life, or the direction that it was going. Ultimately it was making me miserable. Along this path I recognized what was happening. But the questioned lingered, “how to i change, how do I get out of this rut?”
I started to become aware of those things which were hindering me from being happy. Those things that were “holding” me back. And I released them!
When I started to release the negativity… My Passion Started To Come Back!
Soon I was genuinely smiling again. I was laughing at the small things in life. I was appreciating the beauty and the unique differences in people. Positivity was filling my mind, body, and soul again.
My biggest shift was yet to come
In my true procrastinator nature I agreed to go on a backcountry hike, literally last minute.
The truth is, I was not prepared for this trip at all. I scrambled to find and purchase some of my gear, and was grateful to have been able to borrow some. My mind was stuck in the “I can’t do this” mindframe, but somewhere deep down in side of me was a voice screaming “YOU CAN DO THIS!” I had not worked out in weeks. My cardio was weak. My muscles felt weaker!
… so here I am, with 45 pounds on my back and in the midst of a 54km gruelling hike through the mountain range of Jasper. There were times of defeat, and cuss words pouring out of my mouth. But then there was the magical realization that when I hold on to that tiny voice within me, I CAN DO ANYTHING!
This trip was truly what I needed. I took the chance 24 hours before the trip started and said YES. Silencing the internal doubts was the best thing I could have ever done.
This hike was challenging on my mind and body…
This hike gave me much needed time to be in my own head.
This hike helped push me that last little bit out of the rut I was in.
This hike changed me.
So, if you get a chance TAKE IT.
and if it CHANGES YOU, LET IT
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